Morning humor

[Bucko]

VOCABULARY - HOTSIE STYLE:

1. AS WELCOME AS A SKUNK AT A CHURCH PICNIC.
Self-explanatory

2. TIGHTER THAN BARK ON A TREE.
Not very generous

3. BIG HAT, NO CATTLE.
All talk and no action

4. WE'VE HOWDIED BUT WE AIN'T SHOOK YET.
We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.

5. HE THINKS THE SUN CAME UP JUST TO HEAR HIM CROW.
He has a pretty high opinion of himself.

6. IT'S SO DRY THE TREES ARE BRIBIN' THE DOGS.
We really could use a little rain around here.

7. JUST BECAUSE A CHICKEN HAS WINGS DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN FLY.
Appearances can be deceptive.

8. THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO.
I've been around awhile.

9. HE LOOKS LIKE THE DOG'S BEEN KEEPIN' HIM UNDER THE PORCH.
Not the most handsome of men.

10. THEY ATE SUPPER BEFORE THEY SAID GRACE.
Living in sin.

11. TIME TO PAINT YOUR BUTT WHITE AND RUN WITH THE ANTELOPE.
Stop arguing and do as you're told.

12. AS FULL OF WIND AS A CORN-EATING HORSE.
Rather prone to boasting.

13. YOU CAN PUT YOUR BOOTS IN THE OVEN BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM BISCUITS.
You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change
what it is.

14. WE'RE IN TALL COTTON.
Things are going well

~~~~~~~~I HOPE EVERYONE IS IN "TALL COTTON"~~~~~~~
[img]http://www.wines.com/ubb2/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.wines.com/ubb2/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.wines.com/ubb2/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Georgie]

These are great!

[hotwine]

Yup. Those are good 'uns. Also:

- Hotter'n a two-dollar pistol.

- Nervous as a whore in church.

- Popular as a fart at a wedding.

- Slick as a hound's tooth.

- That dawg won't hunt!

[winedope1]

older'n dirt! WD

[Drew]

Speaking about a fart in a wedding, Confucious say..."Man who cut fart in church sit in own pew" [img]http://www.wines.com/ubb2/biggrin.gif[/img]

Drew

[hotwine]

Yeah, and he can have the one behind him, too.