Happy Thanksgiving

[Jackie]

This little poem landed in my mailbox today. I thought I'd share it.

It's totally silly but, in a way, I bet some of us can relate....

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin' and bitchin'

I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.
This room's a disaster, just look at this mess!

Tomorrow I'll have thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!

My feet are both blistered, I have cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.

There's a knock at the door and the telephone rings;
batter drips on the counter, the microwave dings.

Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
but my cookbook is covered with butter and crumbs.

I've had all I can stand, I cant take anymore;
Then in strolls my husband, sloshing rum on the floor.

He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"

He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long. ... aren't you done in here yet?"

As quick as a flash, I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe...I wanted his life!

He flees from the room in terror and pain
and screams "MY GOD WOMAN, HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?"

Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh no, it's the pies! They're burned all to hell.

I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.

What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.

Lord, don't get me wrong, I do love holidays;
They just leave me exhausted, shaky and dazed.

But I promise one thing, if I live 'til next year,
You won't find me busting my buns then in here.

I will hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter
and if that doesn't work, I’ll just have it CATERED!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jackie




[This message has been edited by Jackie (edited 11-20-2003).]