2 expensive wines, how did I fair?

[Innkeeper]

Tipping is a volitile subject. The rule used to be one tip for everybody, except in New York City where you tip everbody separately (captain, waiter, wine steward, et al). In recent years the "New York rule" has been migrating elsewhere, usually to places habitated by New Yorkers such as Nantucket. Unless somebody tells me, I usually don't ask, and leave a 20% tip for all to share.

The problem is it really gets squirrelly. Have been places where I've ordered wine on my own, had the wine opened and poured by the waiter, and then had the wine steward come by, top off the glasses and chit chat. Have had the wine steward help with selection, open and pour wine, and the waiter topped off the glasses. Also, many variations on this theme. So how much do you tip who?

Another question is how do you tip other than your waiter? Do you itemize the tip on your credit card slip? Do you hunt down the wine steward and palm him a tip? If you leave it all on the table, the waiter picks it up.

P.S. Have used the male gender here out of convenience, not out of malice.