New England equivalent of Rednecks and CoonAsses?!?!?

[Drew]

You know you're from New England when:

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating during a blizzard.

You only own three spices- salt, pepper and ketchup.

You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.

The local Hardware store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.

Making it home during Mud Season is a competitive sport.

You think everyone from the city has an accent.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your snow-blower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of deer hunting season is a national holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

The town officials greet you on the street by your first name.

There is only one shopping plaza in town.

The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo- its sausage making.

You find -20F a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your snowmobile boots.

You can play road hockey on skates.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

You know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.


AND........


New England Temperature Conversion Chart

Forwarded by Mark Sasahara, msasaharaphoto@mindspring.com

60 above
New Yorkers start to turn on the heat.
People in New England plant gardens.

50 above
Texans shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.

40 above
Italian cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.

30 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in New England throw on a sweatshirt.

20 above
New York landlords turn up the heat again.
People in New England have another cook-out before it gets cold.

10 above
People in Miami cease to exist.
People in New England lick the flagpole.

0
Californians fly to Mexico.
People in New England get out their winter coats.

20 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in New England begin selling cookies door to door.

30 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
New England Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

40 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
People in New England rent some videos.

50 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Cows in New England complain of farmers with cold hands.

75 below
All atomic motion stops.
People in New England say..."Cold 'nuff for ya?"

100 below
Hell freezes over.
The New England Patriots win the Super Bowl and the Red Sox win the World Series.

Drew [img]http://38.118.142.245/ubb2/biggrin.gif[/img]