New England equivalent of Rednecks and CoonAsses?!?!?

[Botafogo]

This is all in fun but I was shocked today when I was sending out some holiday gifts for IK and I had to call him and double check the address info he had e-mailed me because two out of three of them (in Maine and NH) did not include street NUMBERS. Turns out they live in very rural areas where "the Smiths on old shale road" or "second house past the mill" gets you by just fine.

So, my question is, if Jeff Foxworth had to port his "You might be a Rednick if...." bit over to that part of the country, A) what would the noun be? and B) anyone got any good examples?

You know: if your idea of an aphrodesiac is a hot pail of maple syrup and an LL Bean catalogue...you might be a _______????

Cheers, Happy Holidays and thanks for the business, Carl.