Unbelievable

[stevebody]

As a restauranteur and frequent consultant to cafes here in Seattle, I think the whole idea of restaurant wine lists is an ongoing disaster. You'll usually find restaurants like my friend Hussein's out here on a nearby island, where the list has been basically unchanged since he first opened the place in 1988. He married up to Grgich, Lockwood, Jordan, Montelena, Harrison, and a few other CA brands and ceased to exercise any sort of critical thinking about the wines for 15 years. The problem is that he runs a MEDITERRANEAN restaurant. Need I point out that most of the list was dead, flat, flippin' wrong for the food? Not an Italian on the list. No Spanish. No French. Just glorious Medi food with oaky Grampa wines to drink.

Another friend goes to the exact opposite extreme: the list changes every six weeks and he finds the most obscure, eccentric, highly-rated things he can to add. It's schizophrenic to the point of cultural whiplash. And his food is bedrock Tuscan. He LOVES oak and tells me his customers enjoy challenges.

In either case, the rationale is the same: The customers supposedly expect and respond to some particular thing, so the restaurant just keeps doing that. I lost patience with Hussein one day, after he had brought me in to work on wholesale changes to the list, when he said, for the fourth time in response to my suggestion that he drop a CA oak bomb, "But the customers have always liked it." I told him the truth about it: customers are a captive audience. They will order the most familiar thing they see, or something that they've heard of. They "like" Hussein's pet Lockwood only because it's reasonable (even at his usurious mark-up) and THEY HAVE VERY LIMITED CHOICES. No restauranteur should ever get handcuffed to one house, one style, one region, or one wine. The only wine-buying environment that really reflects what customers really prefer is a retail wine shop with lots of choices. Offered the entire universe of wines, clear and genuine preferences reveal themselves. In a restaurant, they may just be choosing the Devil You Know.

I see precious little thinking at work on Seattle wine lists. Price goes without saying. Calabria, my fave little authentic Italian place in Kirkland, offers stunning Italian wines but, for example, the La Carraia Fobbiano, which I know wholesales for about $21, they have at $98! NINETY-EIGHT DOLLARS. Why? Because some dip will pay it. More heinous is the lack of thought in matching wine to cuisine. One restaurant close to my house in Bellevue boasts Kendall-Jackson Chard, Columbia Crest Grand Estates Merlot, Hogue Genesis Syrah, Beringer Knight's Valley Cab, Landmark Chard, Estancia Cab, Zabaco Zinfandel, Dry Creek Fume Blanc, and about ten others I forget. Not a Reisling or Gewurtz among 'em. So? IT'S A SUSHI BAR. The two wines that arguably MIGHT match the food are nowhere to be seen.

Restauranteurs want wines that will move, of course, because wine is a FREAKIN' GREAT profit center. One good bottle is equivalent to another plate at the table. So, they list what they're told by the reps is popular, what their friends who are "into wine" say is good, or what they see at the supermarket. They love the profitability but see no sense in working at assembling a list that will actually enhance their food. Most truly believe that wine sells itself, so most restaurants are completely without anyone - chef included - who has even tried what they stock, much less can match it to the entrees or desserts. And almost NONE of them train their wait staffs to sell wine or suggest pairings.

I'd like to say that I've seen signs of change, with the general rise in awareness of wines, but the opposite is more true: as customers become more hip, owners see even less point in teaching staffers about wine. Now, the thinking goes, people know wine and can make their own choices.

If you find a restaurant where they know a bit about the wine and the food is actually good, show up as often as you can and help keep the place open, because it's a jewel beyond price.

[This message has been edited by stevebody (edited 05-31-2003).]