The National Vinquirer (Bonny Doon goes nuts!)

[Botafogo]

Has anyone else gotten a copy of the April Fools edition of Bonny Doon's Newsletter (a 20 page full-on parody of the wine industry in the form of a supermarket tabloid)? INCLUDING every wine he has ever made, this is the best thing Randall Grahm has ever done!

Sample Headlines:

Moscato NOT just for Breakfast Anymore!

Santa Margherita decanonized, large recall of Pinot Grigio planned.

Compulsive wine collectin, Republicanism linked to variety of Proctological disorders.

Really rich guy buys vineyard site, vows to make great wine!

Trent Lott prefers WHITE Wine!

Unrated bottle consumed, man unharmed.


My personal favorites are an article detailing Robert Parker exploding in a French Restaurant like the guy in Monty Python's meaning of life and an exposition of the physics of how the mass and influence of a wine increases exponentialy as it score goes up until, when it gets 100, it turns into a vinous black hole and dissapears from the market yet drags thousands of other wines into its stylistic event horizon.

Then there is the sad tale of the scientists at Vinovation (a REAL company who will chemically analyze your wine and tell you what chemicals to add to get higher scores) doing a joint research project with the Lawrence Livermore Laboratories to develop "anti-tannins". The experiment goes awry when a tannin / anti-tannin chain reaction destroys most of Western Sonoma county and leaves it uninhabitable for 80,000 years!


GO Randall!