complete nonsense

[Glass_A_Day]

SOME THOUGHTS

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> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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> Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
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> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
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> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
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> The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
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> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
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> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
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> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply
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> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.
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> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
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> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
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> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
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> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory
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> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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> What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
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> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
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> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
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> A backward poet writes inverse.
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> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
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> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
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> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. ;
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> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
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> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
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> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
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> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
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> A calendar's days are numbered.
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> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
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> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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> When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
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> When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
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> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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> black dandruff seems to go well with evening wear
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> his wife is sweet, really sweet, after a fashion - even sweeter after an old- fashioned.
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> when I was a boy 10 cents was big money..... My how "dimes" have changed.
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> the cow was irritated, and said to the milkmaid.. "go ahead, see if I give a dram"
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> He's a bachelor... therefore, you know he has no children to speak of.
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> my father invented the inkling.....a tiny fountain pen.
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> heard about the alcoholic lion tamer...............he was a beast of bourbon!
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> what do mortuaries and rest rooms have in common...........when you've got yo go, you've got to go!
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> the magicians act was unprepared, unrehearshed and uncalled for.
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> a bedtime moral for every person..............one good turn gets most of the blanket.
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> He gave me a poultry sum....you must mean paltry....I mean poultry.....it was chicken feed.
> Be what you is ,
> cause if you be what you ain't,
> you ain't what you is.