Why MEN??

[n144mann]

Randy, I am not debating sexism here. Just so you know, I am a VERY traditional person, in a VERY traditional marriage, esp by todays standards. I admit, I enjoy having doors opened for me, I enjoy being served first, and I enjoy a man giving his seat for me. (well, the last makes me feel a little guilty, I usually say no to that one) I certainly don't EXPECT these things from every man I meet, but unlike some feminists, I am certainly not offended by the gesture. I don't think sexism plays a role in it, I think it is a service issue and an intuitive staff should be able to handle it. I will give you a typical night in the Grossmann dining out experience and see if you agree.

When the decision is made to go out, I will make the reservation, but in my husbands name. (on a rare occasion, if he wants to surprise me, he will make the reservation or have his secretary do it) He will be the one to make initial contact with the hostess when we arrive and will take the lead directing the party. When we are seated and have made initial contact with our waiter, my husband taking charge in all of this, and are asked if we would like wine with our meal/would you like to see our wine list, my husband will say," Nancy would YOU like to see the list??" or more often, "Yes, I am sure my wife would like to see the wine list." At this point I take charge and add "Yes I would like to see the list" At this point, I think most waiters should be able to see that he has left the decision up to me, and I should be given the wine list, and again be given the wine to taste when it is brought to the table. IF the waiter is still in doubt, I don't have a problem with what you suggested, asking if both would like to taste. Like you said, it doesn't take a genius!! The rest of the meal is back in my husbands hands, he makes any requests for the table, unless it is a second bottle of wine, and he takes charge of paying the bill. All it takes, as foodie pointed out, is a staff that has been trained to be attentive and listen and react to the dynamics of the table as opposed to simply going through the same motions regardless of who they are serving. When waiters show me that they are doing this, I (suggest to my husband that we) reward them for their excellent service.





[This message has been edited by n144mann (edited 05-28-99).]