Why MEN??

[Randy Caparoso]

Nancy, you know darned well that sexism is still a powerful force in all facets of today's society. It will take years to go away.

We run a "contemporary" outfit, and so our people are trained to be p.c. about placing the wine list somewhere between male/female couples rather than directly to the man. And of course, it doesn't take a genius to know that if the woman orders the wine, they'll also be tasting it. But there are also a couple of obvious exceptions:

1. When we know for sure (from previous experience, or through reservations, who is checking in with the hostess, etc.) that a "man" is in charge. By the same token, of course, this role could be played by a woman.

2. When a man is obviously acting the "aggressor," directing traffic, dishing out tips, and obviously leading the party, it just stands to reason that he'll get the wine list. Not to do so could possibly result in one mad hombre, which no right-thinking hostess, server, or manager would want. This is not sexism; because, again, that role could very well be taken up by a woman (as I said, it doesn't take a genius to figure out when SHE better get the list!).

And of course, when in doubt, it doesn't hurt for any of us to ask -- who gets the list, and who does the tasting. Sometimes when it's a touchy subject amongst the couple themselves (which is often the case), we just rectify the situation by, say, pouring wine into both glasses and saying, "How about if you both taste it and see if you like it!"

But remember, we truly live in a funny time. While it is incorrect to patronize women and defer to men, it is still very much correct to go ladies first and err ever so slightly on the side that the male will probably be ordering the wine, paying the bill, etc. It's a business, after all, and the smart way to succeed in it is simply to play the percentages and current social mores.