WITHSTAND

[winecollector]

Okay guys.... I have let almost an entire week go by to try to regain my composure, because of the attacks of WITHSTAND" against the "three evil grapes." I think I can now address this topic as seriously as I possibly can.... but only for a limited time.

First of all, I would like to point out, that it has been admitted my our "honorary withstand board member," that some wines made from these "evil grapes" have now been approved for consumpsion, and are to be viewed as "exceptions" to WITHSTANDS' position on these "evil grapes."

Then, we also discover that "exceptions" can also been made for special events, such as "weddings, divorces, children coming into the world, children leaving home, and other similar occasions." Other similiar occasions could include but are not limited to, "the first day of spring, the buying of a new car, the second day of spring, washing the new car, the third day of spring, cleaning out the garage for your new car, the fourth day of spring, and also the sky falling on your new car. Basically, whenever you #*&-well feel like it!

The charge has also been made, that wines from these "evil grapes" in general have "no value when eaten with food." With all due respect to our honorary WITHSTAND board members' exemplary culinary talents, I have found that wines made from the three "evil grapes" can be properly paired with food / meals. I have hosted many successful tastings at home and at restraunts where the "evil grapes" and the food, have combined together to the point of a "religious experience." The sky parts, the angels come down, and say....

"What's going on here? Don't you know that what your are doing is against the GOD of WITHSTAND? Give me that glass, so we can determine your punishment.... and hand me a fork while you are at it.... Hey, this is um.... pretty um.... good.... ah.... can I have my own glass? I just got a new harp today, and besides, it is the 29th day of spring!"

I would like to invite all interested WITHSTAND members, to the "OAK LOVERS OF AMERICA" weekly tasting in West Virginia, where we regularly hold burnings of WITHSTAND membership cards. For a $10 fee, you get to taste many wines made from the three "evil grapes," your very own souvenier glass, oak tooth pics, and a hunk of genuine oak to gnaw on when there is not enough oak in your wine. We do not have membership cards printed as of yet, but, if you like, you can have your piece of oak "ingraved" with your membership information.

Well, I hope I have covered all the bases here. It is now time for me to go drink a glass of left-over Primitivo from last night, and while I do that, I will be gnawing on an oak tree in my yard. Happy 29th day of spring to everyone, and to all a good night!