General Rantings

[stevebody]

Guys:

I posted this on winespectator and was a little surprised at the response (not as derisive as I had expected). I thought I'd post it here and get your responses. Please note: I ain't selling a philosophy here. Anyone who does any of these things won't hear a word of criticism from me. Just some loose sand from under my saddle...

There are times when I post here and say I hope I'm not starting something but this isn't one of those. I am trying to start something and I accept, in advance, whatever criticism comes my way, including the inevitable, "...merely demonstrating your appalling ignorance of what wine is all about..." Go ahead and get that one out of the way quickly, okay?

Here it is:

I get more and more tired, with every passing year, with A),the knee-jerk devotion paid to the French, especially Bordeaux and Burgundy, (as in a recent post that posited, "everyone always ends up with Burgundy"), B) the whole philosophical enchilada of cellaring "fine" wines, C) the endless discussion of terroir as the primary virtue of a great wine, and D) the whole idea that wine tastes are, in ANY way, universal and plainly linear.

In a startling reversal of form, I'll be brief:

- To repeat an idea I posted elsewhere, while the French make some of the world's great wines, the fact is that 99% of us will NEVER taste the true classics and so they will forever remain an intellectual exercise for us. We may taste a 100 point wine if we're very lucky (and flush) but only rarely. The vast majority of what we'll drink from the French will be, at best, the high under-tier of their wines which, I contend, have no objective superiority over the equivalent wines from anywhere else. I think the French winemakers figured out, a hundred years ago, that fostering the myth that the only country that really "gets" fine wine is France equals good business and they've created a religion founded on the idea. I believe that, in a blind tasting, most of us would as likely choose an Italian, CA, WA, or even an Aussie wine as subjectively "better" than French and that seeing the label often sways us toward an elevated opinion of that wine. I've proven this to my own satisfaction with ringers slipped into blind tastings on five occasions, now.

-It's bugged me for some time that I'm expected to sell wine to normally-intelligent people (read "non wine weenies") by telling them that it'll be great in five years, ten years, whatever. They want to spend their disposable income on "fine" wines but simply cannot grasp that, as one Microsoft millionaire put it, "My product has to be ready to go out of the box. Why doesn't this guy's?" I always answer that there are a ton of wines around that don't require cellaring but they read the same magazines we all do. A fishing boat owner from Alaska asked me, "If this wine is going to be so f___ing great in ten years, why doesn't the winery wait ten years and then sell it? I'm supposed to schlep this guy's wine around for a decade while he spends my money now?" I used to just chuckle and move on but I'm beginning to see it. I know a lot of us enjoy cellaring but why am I investing so much faith - and Bucks - in what MAY turn out to be great but may turn out to be vinegar? I AM doing this guy's job for him and that is the objective fact. In no other mass commodity do we EXPECT to handle a technical production aspect of the product AND assume 100% of the financial risk. If our carefully-cellared bottle of Chateau Palmer turns out to be insipid, we're not getting a refund.

-Terroir, as I understand it, is one aspect of the character of a wine, along with tannins, fruit, alcohol, etc. By some tastes, terroir becomes the principal yardstick and tastes are individual. But the worship of terroir has become nearly universal among knowledgeable wine lovers and I think, once again, it goes back to Bordeaux and Burgundy. The entire French system of classification revolves around terroir, as expressed in the pride of place displayed on every label. I'm going to be as crass about it as I can possibly be: Why am I supposed to care about what some French guy's backyard tastes like? Terroir isn't exactly a mystery. If you can't taste a Napa wine and Sonoma wine and tell the differences, you just haven't paid attention. But that doesn't say that either is superior. Italian wines express terroir every bit as distinctly as French but they don't make that the raison d'etre for the wine. As Ricardo Cotarella once said to me, when I asked about the sources of his grapes in his Falesco Est!Est!Est!, "Did you like the wine?" "Oh, very much," I replied. "Then what do you care?" he smiled. I fail to see why a wine can express minimal or no terroir and not be considered "great".

Finally, the whole notion of the inevitable arc of someone's wine evolution drives me up the wall. I was told by my early chef guru that my own cooking would inevitably change and what I thought of as great back then would be less great in twenty years. He was right...to a point. Back then, I thought jambalaya was the cat's ass and I've veered into African, Morrocan, Turkish, Ethiopian, Provencal, German, every region of Italy, Tex-Mex, Chinese, and Thai food and have enjoyed each one but jambalaya is still the cat's ass. A plain tuna sandwich is still great. Bananas still taste perfect. We move on but we come back. My wine mentor said the same, eleven years ago. "Oh, you'll outgrow those big CA Zins and Gigondas and Aussies," he chuckled. I have learned to love a lot of stuff outside of that, delicate wines as well as big ones, but I still love a good Zin, Domaine les Palleiers, and Peter Lehmann Stonewell. I think people "end up" in one place because they think they're supposed to. They read forums and read that we "all end up in Burgundy" and go do just that. Everybody wants to think of themselves as learned and experienced, of course. Me, too. But, as a chef, I had to actively work at using my palate, every single day, and it's a cornerstone idea of the job that you MUST know flavors. I know an awful lot of chefs who also love wine and very few fall into the "freak" category about any particular region. I'm not saying my palate's anyone's ideal. In fact, I don't even accept the idea that I'm any kind of wine connoiseur. I think of myself, especially when selling wine, as a regular guy who loves wine. I also love baseball, football, movies, basketball, books, and a thousand other things. I've actually had customers ask how I can be a Mariners fan and still be a wine geek. (Last season, I explained that drinking wine helped get through the M's games) If we're all truly lovers of wine, the practice of setting aside that territory of "serious" wine connoiseur for only those who think one way about the experience builds a wall between us and potential wine people.

Well, so much for being brief. One day, maybe...