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just for fun...guys note #16! - Printable Version

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- Georgie - 11-15-2003 04:36 PM

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:

by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full
potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and
dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can
see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is
age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless
of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic
background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that
we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is
not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It
never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a
lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals
built the Titanic.

16. Final thought for the day: Men are like fine wine.. They
start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the
crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable
to have dinner with.


- tandkvd - 11-15-2003 05:04 PM

Just got in from my yearly ritual of putting up the icecicle christmas lights around the house (for the wife). Also while I'm up there I might as well clean the gutters.

Lugging around a 32 foot extention ladder for four hours, back aching & head pounding.

Guess my wife hasen't stomped all the crap out yet. I just feel like crap. But the wife is happy!

Bypassed the wine, am now sipping on Tequila and Ginger Ale.


- Drew - 11-15-2003 05:23 PM

"9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time."

Daylight ssavings time is for extra GOLF in the early evening....everyone knows that!!!!!

Drew


- wondersofwine - 11-15-2003 08:18 PM

Lot of truth to #2. As to #3--I spend a lot of time on my hobby of wine appreciation--does that indicate that I'm "bordeauxing" on insanity?
Thanks for the laugh, Georgie and Drew.

[This message has been edited by wondersofwine (edited 11-15-2003).]

[This message has been edited by wondersofwine (edited 11-16-2003).]


- tandkvd - 11-15-2003 08:49 PM

Drew, only us male golfers understand that.

[This message has been edited by tandkvd (edited 11-15-2003).]


- yabloka - 11-16-2003 05:19 AM

Tequila and ginger ale?


- tandkvd - 11-16-2003 07:32 AM

Had that bottle of Tequila For about a year. We were on a kick of making Margaritas. But I'm not much of a mixed drink drinker.

Last night I improvised with what was on hand. It was pretty good.


- winoweenie - 11-16-2003 09:28 AM

Fully understand #s' 1 thru 16. CB has me fully mobilzed and at the ready. WW


- winedope1 - 11-17-2003 03:26 PM

I'm still stomping- I have little feet. WD


- hotwine - 11-17-2003 04:01 PM

Dave Berry left out part of #16: "It's women's job to stomp the crap out of them and keep them in the dark until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with."

I still be a mushroom (kept in the dark and covered with $hit), and thoroughly stomped. So, when's dinner?