just for fun...guys note #16! - Printable Version +- WineBoard (https://www.wines.com/wineboard) +-- Forum: GENERAL (https://www.wines.com/wineboard/forum-100.html) +--- Forum: Rants & Raves (https://www.wines.com/wineboard/forum-12.html) +--- Thread: just for fun...guys note #16! (/thread-13088.html) |
- Georgie - 11-15-2003 16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: by Dave Barry 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 7. Never lick a steak knife. 8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 14. Your friends love you anyway. 15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 16. Final thought for the day: Men are like fine wine.. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. - tandkvd - 11-15-2003 Just got in from my yearly ritual of putting up the icecicle christmas lights around the house (for the wife). Also while I'm up there I might as well clean the gutters. Lugging around a 32 foot extention ladder for four hours, back aching & head pounding. Guess my wife hasen't stomped all the crap out yet. I just feel like crap. But the wife is happy! Bypassed the wine, am now sipping on Tequila and Ginger Ale. - Drew - 11-15-2003 "9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time." Daylight ssavings time is for extra GOLF in the early evening....everyone knows that!!!!! Drew - wondersofwine - 11-15-2003 Lot of truth to #2. As to #3--I spend a lot of time on my hobby of wine appreciation--does that indicate that I'm "bordeauxing" on insanity? Thanks for the laugh, Georgie and Drew. [This message has been edited by wondersofwine (edited 11-15-2003).] [This message has been edited by wondersofwine (edited 11-16-2003).] - tandkvd - 11-15-2003 Drew, only us male golfers understand that. [This message has been edited by tandkvd (edited 11-15-2003).] - yabloka - 11-16-2003 Tequila and ginger ale? - tandkvd - 11-16-2003 Had that bottle of Tequila For about a year. We were on a kick of making Margaritas. But I'm not much of a mixed drink drinker. Last night I improvised with what was on hand. It was pretty good. - winoweenie - 11-16-2003 Fully understand #s' 1 thru 16. CB has me fully mobilzed and at the ready. WW - winedope1 - 11-17-2003 I'm still stomping- I have little feet. WD - hotwine - 11-17-2003 Dave Berry left out part of #16: "It's women's job to stomp the crap out of them and keep them in the dark until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." I still be a mushroom (kept in the dark and covered with $hit), and thoroughly stomped. So, when's dinner? |